Views from the Pews

by Richard L. Gillmore

  Jan. 18 - "Love & Marriage" - The Rev. Doug Wadkins.
    - It may go together like a horse and carriage, but where in the heck is it going? It has been quite a year for marriage in the news! What are some of the issues worth considering in terms of marriage, gay marriage, the single life, polyamory, and so much more?
  We'll continue the discussion of this topic through an open discussion forum at 1:00 p.m.


Something was up this month;
  1. January 18 was the third Sunday of the month.
  2. The sermon description (above) included the term "polyamory."
  3. An open discussion was scheduled after the service.
I can only conclude that the Universe was demanding UUPA members (as they were willing and able) to make the trek to Bellingham Washington. The Universe, in this case, used the voices of Scott and Joy to deliver the message.

First, an editorial note warning:
I did not know that I would be writing this review until I got back to Seattle. That means I did not take notes, collect details or conduct any interviews for this story. It is all based on my fallible and biased memory. Oh yeah, I am biased. I admit it right here in print. Consider yourself warned.

Services started with music from a piano and flute combo. After meditation and regular ceremonies the minister, Rev. Doug Wadkins read and sang the opening readings. That was when I realized that I was in for something different. (And when you are talking UU sermons, that is saying something.) The readings were designed to both support and provide counterpoint to the day’s sermon. The last "reading" was a Stephen Sondheim song Marry Me A Little from the obscure 1980 musical revue of the same name. The apparent ease with which he sang this difficult piece indicates some training and experience in stage performance. Several people mentioned how unusual it was for a UU minister to sing from the pulpit. I would point out however, that it is not unusual in the Pentecostal tradition or in the evangelical movement. Just tune into channel 20, Trinity Broadcasting Network almost anytime to hear singing preachers. Church ceremony and ritual are theatre - and that in and of itself is not a bad thing. Rev. Wadkins’ presentation was lively and engaging but not "overly produced" or phony.

One thing I have always found difficult in a UU service is knowing when it is appropriate to applaud. I get the feeling that there is no hard and fast rule. It’s pretty cool because when applause does erupt, it’s because the performance has broken down the wall of reluctance and uncertainty. Therefore the reaction is genuine and heartfelt, not the polite applause of a less than enthusiastic audience/congregation.

Rev. Wadkins took the congregation on a quick historical tour of marriage as it applies to western culture. (The breadth of depth of marriage traditions in other cultures almost defies imagination and the time restraints of a single sermon.) Looking at our history, we discover that marriage prior to recent centuries, had little or nothing to do with religious beliefs. It had a lot to do - as it does today - with the control, accumulation, and distribution of wealth and power. He went on to express his concerns about "civil unions" and how they might become a second class alternative to real marriage. He suggested that the UU church needs to think about the developing topic of polyamory and revealed that two UU seminary students are in openly poly relationships.

Discussion
I understand that the post sermon, "Sunday Forum" is being revived after a significant absence. I suppose my disappointment at the number of people who remained to participate is probably unfair because of the well attended service. But everybody should be interested in what is important to me! No, really...

I estimate that there were almost 2 dozen Bellingham UUs plus a healthy contingent from Erosong and an impressive smattering of polys from as far south as Portland. The initial discussion started a little slow. This may have been due to the fact that there were so many people from out of town. Also this large out of town contingent had a somewhat specialized interest in what was billed as a wide ranging discussion on marriage. The moderator did his part to get things going by asking questions to prompt comments. Perhaps he should have tried poling the group to find interests or asked for one or two spokespeople to share a few comments about who and what UUPA is (sort of an introduction). Fortunately he stayed away from the dreaded ‘let’s all say our names and a sentence of introduction’ ploy. Even if people could limit themselves to one sentence (yea, right), the group was too large and the time too short for that to have worked.

At first the comments were mostly from the UUPA group and consisted primarily of position statements. I am guilty of this as much as anyone. However, the group did warm up and actual conversation did start. Unfortunately the only real controversy occurred when the moderator took my reference to Michael Moore to task, questioning the validity of some of Mr. Moore’s sources and interpretations of what the data meant.

WARNING My opinion follows:
It is good to question authority - even the authority you agree with.

My family gave this whole experience 4 out of 4 thumbs up. That was all the thumbs Judy and I could muster that day as Elon was home sick and Jim doesn’t travel that much.

Lunch
Q. What’s a UUPA meeting without lunch?
A. Not possible.
I believe lunch is in the bylaws. Therefore even though the hour was late due to the post service discussion, we rallied and stormed out onto the mean streets of Bellingham. The first place we tried could not accommodate the number of people in out party. We quickly found a larger restaurant and conversation ensued. However, the meal was somewhat brief because the regular "4-corner Poly" meeting was due to start at a nearby coffee shop. So polys were once again on the move and taking over another downtown Bellingham business. It was a great chance to meet new people. Tom did his best to be a social director getting one woman’s social calendar completely full for the next seven days (if she were so inclined).

and beyond...
Unfortunately my day came to an end at 5:00 pm along with the 4-corner Poly meeting. Sunday is a school night for some of us. However, the revels did not stop as Scott and Joy hosted a potluck for the gathered poly hoards. For those who missed UUPA’s first meeting of the year - Fear Not. You have eleven more chances to get in on the fun in 2004. So get back to the schedule page, dig out your date books and Palm Pilots and mark those dates now.

And thanks for reading this. If people like it, I will try to publish a "Views from the Pews" every month.
rlg